


I'm Not Pregnant!

by Graceful_Storyteller



Series: Knocked Up [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, I REGRET NOTHING, Loki related violence, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-23
Updated: 2012-05-23
Packaged: 2017-11-05 21:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graceful_Storyteller/pseuds/Graceful_Storyteller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'They run every test known to man and consult with every doctor on SHIELD’s payroll. All of them come to the same conclusion – Loki is pregnant.' </p><p>In which Loki is in denial and Tony is surprisingly ok with becoming a parent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Pregnant!

**Author's Note:**

> For prompt: Avengers movieverse, Tony/Loki, Tony gets Loki pregnant. One freaks out, the other is paerfectly accepting of the idea. http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/342056.html?thread=60564776#t60564776
> 
> Loki's usually quite cool about being pregnant so I decided it was his turn to freak out :D

They run every test known to man and consult with every doctor on SHIELD’s payroll. All of them come to the same conclusion – Loki is pregnant. Loki is decidedly unhappy about this and ends up throwing one unfortunate doctor through a wall when he refuses to run the lab results for a third time. He rants at anyone foolish enough to get within ten feet of him that _clearly_ their science is not just confused but _wrong_ and that it is insulting that anyone would _dare_ imply that a prince of Asgard could be _pregnant_. Tony, on the other hand, is surprisingly calm about the whole thing. At first Bruce suspects that shock has made him silent, that his turmoil at finding out he is to be a father is being suppressed and played out on the landscape of his mind. But when Loki pauses for breath Tony turns to the god, smiles, and asks, “Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?”

 

Loki stares at him blankly for a moment before screaming, “It shall be neither for I am not pregnant!”

 

Once again demonstrating that he is the most suicidal out of all of the Avengers, Tony wraps Loki in a hug and says, “That whole denial thing you’ve got going on is getting kinda old Sweetheart. Why don’t you change your tune and help me plan how we’re going to outfit the nursery?”

 

Bruce personally thinks Tony is lucky that he survived the encounter, let alone walked away with only a dislocated shoulder and a sprained back. Still, Tony doesn’t let a little thing like a trip to the hospital get him down (Bruce thinks the morphine might be partially to blame for this). He spends his enforced recuperation period organising things like trust funds with Pepper and discussing baby names with Bruce and Steve. When he gets out of the hospital he asks Loki if he’s still swimming in that river in Egypt. Loki gives him a dirty look but storms out without sending him back to the hospital. Bruce sees this as progress in Loki’s anger-management if nothing else.

 

Two weeks later Loki is still researching reasons why he may be displaying the symptoms of pregnancy without actually being pregnant. After nearly being skewered by a silver dagger on three separate occasions Tony has put on hold his attempts to get Loki to accept the situation in favour of designing toys for his future child. Bruce watches him sketch on his tablet and marvels at just how well Tony has accepted the whole thing. He puts aside the book he’s not actually reading and asks his friend why he isn’t freaking out like Loki. Tony shrugs and says, “I am freaking out a little, on the inside. It’s not every day you find out that the god of mischief is pregnant with your lovechild. But I figured Loki is doing the whole denial thing enough for two so I might as well accept it and move on. I know I’m not really parent material but I plan on being there for my kid. I’m going to give that kid all the love my reactor-heart is capable of giving and when that isn’t enough I’m going to invent something to make up for it. And call Pepper, obviously, because she’s way better at this stuff than me.”

 

Bruce smiles. “You’re going to be a great dad Tony. You’re not going to make the same mistakes Howard did.”

 

Tony’s smile falters for a moment before returning twice as bright and silently thankful. Before either of them can say anymore Loki enters the room and collapses into an ungraceful sprawl besides Tony. He stares ahead, his face blank as he mumbles brokenly, “I’m pregnant.”

 

Tony smirks as he puts an arm around the Norse god. He then presses a kiss to Loki’s cheek and says, “Welcome back to reality Honey.”


End file.
